Why you should keep your inner circle small
You’ve no doubt heard the terms personality and inner circle. There is a difference between mates and friends in all areas of life – business, personal, family, friends, health – you will constantly be surrounded by the same people. Those you live with, work with, work out with, etc. will not change much over time. So, you need to be absolutely sure you’re surrounded by the best of the best!
When it comes to friendship, choose these people wisely, and take the time to decide whether they are true friends. It should be those who would go out of their way to help you instead of those who want something in return for friendship.
As someone matures (or get older ), they start to value only those friends who are willing to challenge them to become better. There is a reason for this! A person will only spend so much time around those who only agree with them. This would seem to be true of adult friendship, too.
But choosing those people takes time and trust, so it stands to reason that you’ll spend your time honing in on the relationships that will serve you the best and are the most aligned with who you are, personally.
For example, someone who is very outdoors-oriented will most likely not have much in common with someone who enjoys going through their favourite shops. Neither of these is better or worse; rather, they are just not aligned with each other.
To have a very small circle of influence on people that you trust and rely on and are familiar with, you have to limit your circle. It could be only four or six people, and you can build closer bonds with those people. You can form close bonds
Building a lasting friendship requires having a close group of mutual friends who understand you and believe in you. Friends who also reflect similar intentions, values, and goals help you grow and build a lasting friendship. – – Here are links to a few other websites that you can learn from: –
You should focus on relating to those people who will be “with you every step of the way”. People who have high morals, morals of excellence, and morals of trust. These are the people you can turn to during times of success, times of failure, during the good times and during the bad times. These are the people that will be with you always
Removing Someone From Your Inner Circle
Removing someone from your inner circle can be a rough experience. Maybe one of the members isn’t behaving normally, or you can just tell that things have changed, and they aren’t going back.
Once you know that it’s not just a situational change, but something deeper, you need to decide to remove the person from your inner circle. But how do you do that without hurting feelings? Sometimes, unfortunately, feelings will be hurt, but it’s in your best interest to simply be honest about the friendship and that it no longer serves you.
First of all, be present when breaking off a friendship. Schedule a time where you can both meet on neutral ground, at a coffee shop or café, or somewhere similar. Your friend deserves more than just a text message or an email, and you are a bigger person than to do that, right?
If there’s no way you can get together, at least give them the courtesy of a phone call. But don’t get into details when attempting to schedule a meeting… just say you’d like to meet. Now isn’t the time to get into why.
When you do meet, or call, know exactly what you want to say. Be confident, both inwardly and outwardly, and clear about what you’d like to happen to the friendship – whether you want to cut off all contact, or whether you’d like the friendship to simply have different boundaries and expectations.
Be prepared to listen to your friend, and entertain ideas you possibly hadn’t thought of. Though, if you’re set on ending the friendship altogether, be clear about that, and stick to your guns.
Honesty truly is the best policy when you’re dealing with ending a friendship or cooling it off for a bit. Approach your friend with love, if you are able, because that will make the words you say kinder and gentler. State the facts – that the relationship has changed, and that you’ve been thinking about what to do about it. Make it more about you than blaming them for anything.
If you do need to get into specifics (and you very well might want to – that’s okay), don’t do it from a blaming perspective. Turn things around so that you’re making a lot of “I” statements.
Be thoughtful and conscious of your friend’s feelings when talking about what went wrong. Be honest, talk about facts, but be ready for your friend to feel hurt and defensive. This is where kindness will pay off. Still, as we’ve said previously, stick to what your plan is for the friendship.
Finally, take some time to yourself, if needed, to mourn the loss of the friendship.
7 Personality Types to Beware of within Your Inner Circle
It’s important to include strong personality types within your inner circle, but only if those strengths are positive ones. Negativity will ruin your inner circle and render it useless to support you and your growth. These are just a few of the negative personality traits you’d rather avoid having close to you in any way.
The Ego: The Ego loves to spout its knowledge and point of view, but it’s not usually intending to help others. They just love to hear themselves talk, and they love to talk about themselves. They rarely have unique ideas but have lots of unfounded, yet loud, opinions that they can’t support, even when asked.
The Fangirl/Fanboy: To this person, you can do no wrong. You’re perfect. You never make mistakes. Except that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. The Fangirl/boy has ulterior motives, but it’s possible they aren’t even aware of it. You know what they say – if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. This goes for people, too.
The Gossip: That one person who always seems to have the dirt on everyone else, and loves to chat about it? Guess what – they’re chatting about you, too, behind your back. Don’t make the mistake of indulging the Gossip in their favourite pastime, or you’ll find yourself the topic of conversations, too.
The Narcissist: The narcissist only cares about how others can benefit them, so run if this person is part of your inner circle! They’ll manipulate you to get what they want, and will blame you when they don’t. They’ll create only feelings of inadequacy and guilt within you, so get rid of this one fast.
The Moaner: This negative type will always see the ways an idea won’t work, but will rarely see the ways that it will. They’ll consistently point out barriers to your success. They’ll make up problems that could occur, but are highly unlikely, and will build up walls where there are none.
The Vampire: The Vampire is excellent at sucking the very life out of every positive idea you have. They’ll also suck your positive energy dry, and you won’t know what hit you. Look out for emotional exhaustion after visiting with this person – it’s a sure sign that they’re an emotional vampire.
The Needy: They need constant attention from you, and if they don’t get it, they become sullen and whiny. Their need for approval from you will become exhausting.
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All The Best.