Boost emotional intelligence

BOOST EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize emotions, differentiate between them, and control them whenever possible. Being able to get control of your emotions and helping others do the same, is a great skill to develop.

1. You can control your emotions better than you think.

Otherwise, there would be no therapies that would control anger, for instance. Emotions are regulated by the brain and your brain can redirect those emotions when needed. The first step in controlling your emotions is to know that they can be controlled.

2. Some emotions stem from what we believe

For instance, you may hold a political belief that tips towards a particular party. When someone else has an opposite belief, emotions can get the best of both people. However, if you try to take the other person’s perspective, you may find some commonalities between you.

3. Don’t suppress your emotions

Controlling your emotions does not mean suppressing them or pretending as if they don’t exist. You are going to feel them no matter what. It’s part of what makes you human. How you react to your emotions makes the difference between controlling them and losing that control. If you are a hot head and blow up at anything someone says, you are not in control of your emotions.

4. Learn how to recognize the emotions of others

Sometimes, people try to mask their emotions. You can use certain clues such as body movements and facial expressions to decipher their moods. This can help you diffuse a situation before it gets out of hand. You can help the other person through the emotional meltdown, if necessary.

5. Mental illness is a condition that is not usually controllable without intervention

For instance, someone who is clinically depressed, won’t be responsive when trying to cheer them up, etc. You have to be sensitive to this difference and recognize the possibility of it.

6. Realize that you are not a therapist (unless you are!)

You can control your emotions and may be able to help others control theirs. However, if you don’t have training in this area, it can be dangerous to try methods on other people to attempt to control them. Making suggestions based on your interpretations of a situation may be appropriate. However, it’s not a good idea to force a situation.

7. A good tip when handling others’ emotions is to listen

This is a skill that is lacking for many in today’s fast-paced life. Listening can help people feel better. It may not solve their problems or their emotional turmoil. But, it can be a good first step.

8. Good decisions comprise of a mix of emotions and logic.

This mix can be used to determine if you or someone you know is not making good decisions. It could be a result of a deep-rooted emotional situation that needs addressing.

ACTIONABLE STEPS

1

The next time you are speaking on the phone with a friend, family member, or colleague, do so in front of a mirror. Try to notice your facial expressions as you speak to these people. Also, take note of your body language. When you observe these signals, try to recognize them in others when speaking face-to-face.

2

The next time you are feeling a bit down, force yourself to smile. Keep doing this and notice if your mood changes. The chances are good that it will. This can help to show you that emotions can be controlled.

3

Ask someone you are close with if you can record a conversation between you and him or her. The objective is to listen to the recording and look for clues on how good a listener you were during the exchange. If you were interrupting or you were talking over the other person, this can be a sign that your listening skills need some work.